Forgiveness

Q: In my local newspaper today, there were articles about Jared Loughner, who shot and killed six people and wounded 12 more in Arizona in 2011, and James Holmes, who is linked to the fatal shooting of 12 people and wounding of an additional 58 in a Colorado movie theater last year. Both of these young men, and many (if not most) of the other mass shooters in recent years, seem to have had histories of serious mental illness. Loughner's family reported that he was constantly talking to people who weren't there and thought the government was out to get him - classic symptoms of severe paranoid schizophrenia.

Question: I once lived in Highland Park, Ill., with a cat named Poco. We were inseparable. When he was diagnosed with kidney stones, I had to give him up. I just couldn't afford treatment in 1987. I still miss Poco very much. How do I ask for forgiveness when he depended on me for everything? I feel like I let him down big time. — C.H., Bloomington, Ind. Answer: How I wish we had the power to change the past, but so far, that can't be done. And I don't have the power to exonerate you. Besides, who am I?

I am deep in prayer and preparation for the Jewish High Holidays that begin with the Jewish New Year celebration of Rosh Hashana this Sunday evening (all Jewish holidays begin the sundown before the day of the holiday. This is followed in 10 days by Yom Kippur, the day of fasting and repentance, beginning at sundown Sept. 25. Let me do my work with you first. I ask your forgiveness, dear readers, for all my careless words and phrases that have distorted the word of God or the teachings of other faiths, or have hurt or confused you in any way. God is not through with me yet. I also forgive you for all those moments when what you thought you read is not what I wrote, nor what I meant, and so on those occasions, which I hope were rare, you did not have the great pleasure of understanding me. May all my Jewish readers and their families enjoy a New Year of health and happiness, and may the healing of our broken world begin with each and every one of us. To my non-Jewish readers, God bless you and keep you and may we find our way together and apart up the paths we've chosen on the same mountain.

Q: Yesterday, my little grandson told me he was terrified of going to hell. For a moment, I didn't know how to reassure him. Then, I told him he shouldn't worry because very few people are going to hell. Most people who do bad things are actually going to heaven because they don't realize they're making mistakes. Next, I said to him. "I love you, right? If it was up to me, do you think I would send you to hell?" "Never!" he replied. "Then, how could God send you to hell when he loves you much, much more than I do?"

EDITOR'S NOTE: Places to Worship features brief descriptions of churches and temples in our community. They appear each week on a rotating basis. ARMENIAN APOSTOLIC ST. MARY ARMENIAN APOSTOLIC CHURCH St. Mary Armenian Apostolic Church defines its work as religious and spiritual, national and social. Years of communism; the tremendous earthquake in 1988 that killed some 55,000 and left cities in ruins; the now fledgling independence for Armenia; and recent war in Azerbaijan have created many needs abroad and among immigrants establishing a new life here.

1. SIGN ME UP: Author Kenny Kingston will sign copies of his latest book "I Still Talk To ..." at 7 p.m. Friday at Barnes & Noble, 953 Newport Center Drive, Newport Beach. Information: (949) 759-0982. 2. DO YOU CANOE? Enjoy the great outdoors. Newport Bay naturalists will lead a canoe tour of Upper Newport Bay at 8:30 a.m. Friday. Visitors will meet at 600 Shellmaker St., Newport Beach. The fee is $13. Information and/or reservations: (949) 640-6746. 3. FORGIVE, FORGET: "Healing Ritual of Forgiveness: Amends to Men," a self-help lecture on how to let go of bad experiences in close relationships, will begin at 10 a.m. Sunday at The Latest Thing, 270 E. 17th St., Costa Mesa.

-- Story and photo by Coral Wilson In Dan Millstein's Japanese rock garden, each pebble could represent a thought, an idea or even a person. By raking them into patterns, the attempt is to take all of the individuals and create some sense of order out of the whole. Millstein relates this to prisoners. "Their thoughts are disorderly," he said. "Isn't that why we imprison them and try to contain them in a small space so we can feel safe?" Millstein is the founder of Visions for Prisons, a nonprofit organization in which volunteers teach stress management, parenting, art, meditation and re-entry skills to prisoners, offering them the possibility of changing their lives and helping them stay connected to society.

Kimberlie Zakarian EDITOR'S NOTE: Cindy Trane Christeson is on vacation. Her column, "The Moral of the Story," will return next week. It saddens me that lately I have encountered numerous hurting marriages. It seems that at the root of this hurt lies unforgiveness and a fear that forgiving means what another has done to you is OK. It excites me that there can be a victory over every trial. As I counsel various marriages, I have only one hope to profess, the hope that all are able to grasp onto and accept -- God and the Bible.

Cindy Trane Christeson "Communion is a wonderful time when we come together and we remember what's really important." -- Kenton Beshore Due to an unusual schedule, I had the privilege of taking Communion in three different countries in less than two weeks. Each circumstance was totally unique and the locations and languages were different, but the meaning was clearly the same. The first in the two-week period was at the church we worked with in Cairo called Kasr el Dobara.

Send AROUND TOWN items to the Daily Pilot, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626; by e-mail to jeff.benson@latimes.com; by fax to (714) 966-4679; or by calling (714) 966-4617. Include the time, date and location of the event, as well as a contact phone number. TODAY KRLA Radio's Norm Bour will host a seminar, "How Money Works," from 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through Nov. 6 at Orange Coast College's Business Education Room 102, 2701 Fairview Road, Costa Mesa.