Behavior

From an unfaithful husband to an angry hotel waiter who smears more than butter on an ear of corn before serving it to a guest, Newport Beach psychologist Robert Puff and his associate, Elizabeth Lozano, explain the human emotions behind it all on the new television series “Busted and Disgusted.” “Most people do these types of things because of pain,” Puff said. “Because they’ve been hurt, they in turn hurt others. Instead of resolving their pain, they continue the cycle of pain with their actions.

Bullying — the intentional torment of others through verbal harassment, physical assault or manipulation — has become a national epidemic not only in our schools and on our playgrounds but in our homes, on our highways and in our workplaces nationwide. The Newport-Mesa Unified School District's Safe Schools/Healthy Students initiative Project ASK is implementing two programs — Second Step in our preschool and kindergarten classrooms, and Life Skills for our older students — to address this destructive behavior.

It is interesting that if you search through the etiquette books on the bookstore websites, such as Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com, many that have received excellent reviews from the critics receive harsh commentary from readers. The reason? Most of the readers claim that there is nothing new here and that, after all, manners are just common sense. If it is just common sense, why is it that so many people are writing about manners now? Is it, then, just a dearth of common sense that prompts people to become livid about the behavior encountered in a store, the office or on the freeway?

Sometimes an unsavory news event gives us the opportunity to peel back a layer on an issue that deserves scrutiny. Such is the case with the disturbing reports that Larry Hirst, Newport Harbor High School's longtime boys' basketball coach, has been the subject of violent threats. Although police are still investigating, school officials have temporarily suspended the basketball program, and have indicated that parents or students associated with the team might have been the source of the threats.

Sports sections today read like the business section of the newspaper, or even worse the crime beat section. Since I have spent almost 40 years advocating the concept of athletes serving as role models and triggering imitative behavior, it is especially distressing to see the model of poor decision making. The advent of 24-hours-a-day news channels, talk radio, blogs, cellphone cameras and all celebrity oriented media has the effect of amplifying negative behavior. When Michael Vick abused dogs, we saw the story repeated non-stop for weeks and it created the image that Vick abused dogs every day of his life and that is who he is. When Ryan Leaf, the former Chargers quarterback, was caught on tape yelling at a reporter in the locker room it was shown ad nauseum until viewers had seen the same clip over and over again.

Deirdre Newman Kathy Muirhead was fed up with battling her teenage daughter. The arguments over homework and respecting parental authority were taking their toll emotionally on Kathy and her husband. So they decided to sign up for a parenting class with Bill Seery, a marriage and family therapist. Seery guides parents through a six-week odyssey into the enigmatic world of teenagers, illustrating how to steer children away from negative impulses and toward healthy relationships and nondestructive behavior.

Submitted by Dannielle Padilla   Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), an unique interactive counseling program proven to enhance family relationships by coaching parents through a wireless earpiece, is now available in South Orange County. The evidence-based program is highly effective in helping parents increase their child’s ability to manage frustration, independence, self-control, listening and social skills. Child Guidance Center (CGC), a leading non-profit provider of psychological services and education solutions in Orange County, will now offer the forward-thinking counseling model through its new facility in Mission Viejo, Calif.

I love this time of year: We look back at the past 12 months, beat ourselves up a little about what we could’ve done differently and promise we’ll do better next year. We strive for the “perfect year” every New Year. Like a junkie chasing that first high that can never be recaptured, the best we can hope for is as few regrets as possible. The tradition of New Year’s resolutions goes all the way back to ancient times, probably Babylonia. In 153 B.C. the Romans decided to change the new year from March 1 to Jan. 1. Some scholars believe Janus is the god of beginnings.

The news was shocking. Twenty-four years ago, Newport Beach Mayor John Noyes planned and carried out the surreptitious removal of his two daughters, then 6 and 7, from the custody of their mother, who then spent nine years and considerable resources trying to locate them. But as shocking as the news was, the reaction by some in the community puzzles me even more. Not long ago, revelations like these would have forced Noyes to be run out of town on a rail.

Alex Coolman "So as you can see, it's got a lot of sex, a lot of physical violence, a lot of emotional stress, a lot of blood, a lot of profanity and a lot of immorality." Arthur Taussig is running through a review he's written of "Pulp Fiction," cataloging the offensive details that pepper the 1995 Quentin Tarantino flick like brown spots on a bad apple. Then he raises his thick eyebrows behind his tortoise-shell glasses, and offers a slightly mischievous smile.

The Internet has helped sex trafficking to flourish, but it has also provided a new batch of tools to fight the scourge, according to a Vanguard University professor. Sandy Morgan, director of the Costa Mesa university's Global Center for women and Justice, invites police and the public to learn about those tools at the annual Ensure Justice Conference this weekend. "Yes, cyberexploitation happens, and it's something we need to be better at preventing ... in the community," Morgan said.

A private investigator who called police and reported that he suspected Jim Righeimer of drunk driving denied allegations that he was hired to investigate the Costa Mesa councilman. Chris Lanzillo, 42, said in a statement that he was on another assignment Wednesday night when he spotted Righeimer getting into his SUV outside of Skosh Monahan's on Newport Boulevard. "If I was setting him up merely by calling 911, what was the purpose?" Lanzillo wrote Monday night. "Ultimately, an officer would have to make the call on if he violated any laws.

Costa Mesa police officers assigned to city schools will return to regular patrol duties this summer, and there is no guarantee they will return to their school posts when classes start in the fall, officials said. The school resource officers, or SROs, act as campus mentors and deal with problems that go beyond what school authorities can handle. During the summer, however, the SROs, as well as a K-9 and traffic officer, will help fill positions left open by departmental restructuring and on-duty injuries.

Sometimes an unsavory news event gives us the opportunity to peel back a layer on an issue that deserves scrutiny. Such is the case with the disturbing reports that Larry Hirst, Newport Harbor High School's longtime boys' basketball coach, has been the subject of violent threats. Although police are still investigating, school officials have temporarily suspended the basketball program, and have indicated that parents or students associated with the team might have been the source of the threats.

Sports sections today read like the business section of the newspaper, or even worse the crime beat section. Since I have spent almost 40 years advocating the concept of athletes serving as role models and triggering imitative behavior, it is especially distressing to see the model of poor decision making. The advent of 24-hours-a-day news channels, talk radio, blogs, cellphone cameras and all celebrity oriented media has the effect of amplifying negative behavior. When Michael Vick abused dogs, we saw the story repeated non-stop for weeks and it created the image that Vick abused dogs every day of his life and that is who he is. When Ryan Leaf, the former Chargers quarterback, was caught on tape yelling at a reporter in the locker room it was shown ad nauseum until viewers had seen the same clip over and over again.

The family of a mentally ill man who killed himself while in police custody has filed a wrongful death suit against the city of Newport Beach and members of its Police Department. On the afternoon of July 31, 2010, Sandy Wedgeworth called 911 for assistance, asking for an ambulance to take her bipolar husband to the hospital, the family asserts in its July 22 lawsuit. But William Robert Wedgeworth, 43, was having a manic episode when he was arrested and taken to jail rather than to a nearby hospital, according to the suit.

It's one of those rare times you want to hear police yell, "Freeze!" For the 12th consecutive year, according to Irvine police officials, the department is participating in Operation Chill, a program sponsored by 7-Eleven where officers distribute Slurpee coupons to kids they see following the law. "I know that a positive interaction with police makes a huge impact with kids," said Officer Michael Predney, who works in the D.A.R.E. program. "If it's a negative reaction, they'll just dwell on that for the rest of their life.

I thought about Newport Beach's new "Loud and Unruly Gathering" ordinance when I attended a U2 concert at Angel Stadium last month. While a connection between the Irish rock band and Newport's effort to crack down on overly rowdy partiers seems unlikely, bear with me while I tell you my story. U2 is one of my all-time favorite bands, so my husband kindly indulged me with tickets. My enthusiasm dimmed when I realized that the tickets were for admission on the field, standing room only.

The city of Newport Beach will address a number of contentious issues next week, ranging from a new law regulating parties to choosing the city's auditor, which is presently the same auditor that worked in Bell. On the City Council's plate: The "loud and unruly gathering ordinance" would allow officers to issue citations to people who organize a party that gets out of hand, and to partygoers who violate its guidelines. Penalties are up to $500 for the first violation, and up to $8,000 for the fourth violation, if it takes place within six months of the first.

Julian Assange, WikiLeaks' apostle of transparency, "exposed" a cabal of international Jewish conspiracists, whom he charged with making common cause to smear him and attack his website. He was piqued over personal e-mails being published by some newspapers. Oh, the irony that something he intended to be private was made public! When told that the object of his wrath, the editor of Britain's Guardian newspaper, was not Jewish, Assange countered that he was "sort of Jewish" because he had a Jewish brother-in-law.