The boots transform you from a gazelle into a plodding pachyderm.
Watching the soldiers grunt and groan the other day reminded me of a PT test story a longtime friend of mine once told me. He's in his early 80s now, and made his mark as a successful college football coach for 45 seasons.
My friend played football and baseball at UC Santa Barbara in the late 1940s and early '50s, and was an all-conference performer in both sports.
He was drafted by the Army during the Korean War, and did his basic training at Fort Ord, near Monterey.
One afternoon my friend found himself in the fort's PT area, preparing to take the fitness test with his basic training company.
"As we lined up for the test," my friend recalled, "I noticed to my surprise that the lieutenant who was administering it was an old football teammate of mine at Santa Barbara."
They'd been through many a gridiron war together.
"He was a year ahead of me in school, and joined the Army a year before I was drafted," he said. "I was overjoyed to see him."
My friend unobtrusively walked over to where the lieutenant stood. The officer was thumbing through a stack of PT score cards with the basic trainees' names written on them.
"I approached him and said, not too loudly, 'Hey, buddy, how ya doin'?'" my friend remembered. "He seemed stunned to be hearing those outrageous words coming from a lowly basic training private — and then he recognized me."
The lieutenant, breaking every rule of military protocol, set the score cards down and gave his teammate a big hug. The lieutenant was marking time at Fort Ord and conducting PT tests while awaiting reassignment to Korea.
"We shot the breeze for the next 90 minutes," my friend said. "We discussed football, our days at UCSB, our families and life in the Army."