I have a New Year's resolution that we can achieve together. It's really quite simple: Let's be mindful of the language we use to describe colleges and the college admissions process.
First, let's be conscious of our use of pronouns. Saying, "we won" might be an acceptable way to describe your favorite sports team's amazing victory, in which you only played the role of spectator. However, using the pronoun "we" to describe "your" child's college admissions experience should be avoided. This is not "your" experience — it's "his" or "hers" and actually you are kind of a spectator in this process as well. Stating publicly, "We want to apply to Stanford" speaks volumes to your child about whose process this really is.
Second, let's avoid the terms, "safety" or "back-up," when talking about colleges. Years ago, I consciously stopped using the word "safety" to describe specific colleges on a student's radar screen. Same with the word "back-up." These terms imply those institutions are not good and the only reason one would attend is "if all else fails." A better nomenclature is to use, "good bet" meaning a student's chance of admission is high and that particular college is a good fit for the student regardless of its name recognition. Along those lines, keep in mind that your child's "good bet" is another student's "reach." Always know your audience, mind your manners, and remember your P's and Q's.