Comments & Curiosities: Is it fair for me to know so much?

January 01, 2011|By Peter Buffa

It is done. You made it. I am so proud of you. Another round of holiday-induced rapture has come to a close. Was everything picture-perfect? I knew it would be.

And now it is time to move on, start over and get on with it with a new year, a new day, a new lease on life. It isn't really, of course, but pretending that Jan. 1 is more important than May 12 or Oct. 9 makes us feel good, no?

It's like New Year's resolutions. For some reason, we believe that we will lose weight, get organized and be so healthy it's sickening because it's January, but we can't do it the rest of the year.


But you know what else a new year brings, don't you? Of course you do. It brings the annual Peter B. "How-on-Earth-Does-He-Know-That? Predictions."

Can I really tell the future? Please. You can't be serious. I knew I was going to write this column days ago. And here it is, happening just like I knew it would.

Scary. Pay attention. This will go fast.

Minutes before Jerry Brown's swearing in on Monday morning, Arnold Schwarzenegger will perform his last act as governor — an executive order changing the name of the state to Gollyfornya.

In late February, Time Warner will launch a cable TV channel in Costa Mesa and Newport Beach called "It's Only Fair," with 24-hour coverage of the latest nonevents on the sale of the Orange County Fairgrounds — who's in, who's out, who's suing whom and exactly where each move and countermove will fit in the dustbin of history.

Sadly, Lindsay Lohan will be sent back to rehab in April, then June, September, December and, wait, October. In March, Washington will repeat last summer's announcement that the recession is over, and once again, no one will care.

The price of gas, which has soared in the last month, will finally reach $5 a gallon on March 12.

At a fact-finding workshop convened at Costa Mesa City Hall by Lou Correa and Jose Solorio, an oil company spokesman will explain, "It's all because of a refinery fire in Midland-Odessa, which jacked up rack prices for unbranded above branded in some areas, and even the dealer tank wagon price in other places."

Which will cause the rest of us to say, "Oh. OK."

At a press party at the Newport Beach Marriott on May 10, one of the Real Housewives of Orange County will actually have a thought and have to be rushed to Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian, clutching her head in both hands and sobbing "Oh my God! This, like, totally hurts."

What else?

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