Q: I've suffered from depression for years, and at least twice have come close to committing suicide. Many factors made me hold back. For the past six years, the longest period since I first sought help, I've been on anti-depressant medication and receive regular therapy.
I have no current plans to do myself in and don't want to face that choice again. However, for me, the effects of depression have been so erosive that I believe it can be compared to many long-term physical ailments that are eventually fatal. Thus, it is possible for me to envision taking steps to end the pain on my own terms.
I'm not a religious person and am inclined toward agnosticism and sometimes total atheism, so being told that suicide is a sin doesn't register with me. Be that as it may, I acknowledge the hurt that suicide can cause others, which makes me feel guilty. If I ultimately choose that way out, I will try to prepare myself and my loved ones for the aftermath. In my own inner hell, this is quite a burden, but I sincerely feel it may be the best option for me. I think the notion that suicide is sin contributes to this inner hell for others, too, rather than being a persuasive force in refusing that option. Any thoughts? — Anonymous via godsquadquestion