One of the most gratifying things I did as a judge on the trial court in Orange County was helping people voluntarily resolve their disputes. Over the years I developed some insights into what helps increase the chances of a resolution, and what pushes people further apart. So since there are opportunities in everyone's life to help to resolve disputes, whether they are their own or those of others, I wanted to pass along to you some suggestions — and maybe in turn you can pass them along to your children.
The first thing to be aware of in trying to resolve disputes is not to promise more than you can deliver. If anything you do gets people's expectations to be unrealistically high, you will probably torpedo your chances of achieving a resolution even before you even get started. So always stay cautiously optimistic, but also stay realistic.
In addition, when you are involved in discussions in the presence of the opposing parties, never allow anyone to use what I call "poisonous words." These are words like "liar," "cheat," or "scumbag," and their use will almost always move people further from a resolution.