Reel Critics:

Vince Vaughn gets completely self indulgent in his latest formulaic flick, “Couples Retreat.” He’s the clear star of this lame romantic comedy. But he also has producing and writing credits. These extra management positions allow him to control almost the entire effort. The final result is what you’d expect from a B-list actor in charge of everything important in a movie that features himself as the main player. It’s all about Vince.

The plot deals with a group of couples having very different problems in their relationships. The women are stunning, the men stupid. Circumstances conspire to have them all travel to a tropical resort with a program for couples seeking to renew their bonds. Their major life issues are given silly sitcom treatment. A parade of therapists who behave like cartoon characters provide what passes for insight into their situations.

The cast of characters goes through the motions while Vince spouts words of sophomoric wisdom. There’s a lot of beautiful scenery but nothing of substance transpires in front of the swaying palm trees. This movie offers a boatload of tedious dialogue and lame plot devices that render it instantly forgettable.

Low-budget horror movie is high in scare factor

In the strictest sense, “Paranormal Activity” should not have scared the Junior Mints out of me. But it did.

This low-tech film, made for a mere $11,000, should have failed to impress me with its amateur simplicity. But it didn’t.

After all, 10 years ago, “The Blair Witch Project” created the same kind of effect. A good horror flick reminds us of the mysteries of the dark — things you can only hear that make no sense and your heart race like a little hamster.

You see things. No big monsters, no real blood. You know it’s all designed to look like real camera footage of Micah (Micah Sloat) and Katie (Katie Featherston) in their attempt to record evidence of ominous spirits in the house.

The pacing tests your patience, as nothing seems to be going on for quite a while. But when things start to go bump in the night, you find yourself sinking lower into your seat...

Sure, it’s only a movie. I’m a grown woman after all, impervious to cheesy sentiment, chick flicks and gore fests.

A movie shouldn’t freak me out and give me actual chills and goose bumps for the first time in my life.

But it did.

JOHN DEPKO is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator for the Orange County public defender’s office.