In Theory

A rabbi performs prayers over the couple religiously; it too is a contractual business contract the same as a civil union only under a chuppah (canopy) with vows that binds the couple by Jewish law. A marriage contract, ketubah, is signed before the ceremony. A man and a woman promise each other specific pledges that have been passed down for centuries, prescribed by Jewish law and Jewish tradition according to roles that the partners play in the marriage. These are sacred contractual promises.

So, in a sense, the rabbi is acting the same as the judge in contractual obligations by both the bride and the groom, also with rings and sacred vows. The irony is that the Jewish vows are to be bound by the law of Moses and the traditions of Israel. This is in no way any different than what the judge is doing according to civil law.

Secondly, what I do as a rabbi gives the couple a spiritual blessing that a civil marriage lacks. Inviting God into a marriage is crucial for every couple. Invoking God’s name in a marriage is something I never want to see anyone lose, since spirituality is important in every marriage.

The Christian benediction and the Jewish benediction are the same that begin “May the Lord bless you and Keep You.” These words are found in the Bible and date back more than 3,000 years. I am not willing to give that up as a rabbi in a ceremony saying these words over the couple.

I believe that marriages are made in heaven and should not be judged by any man or woman or any kind of couple who want to live together. In these times, money should be spent for other reasons on both sides of Proposition 8. You are not going to change the way people want to live, no matter what you call their union.

Rabbi Marc Rubenstein

Temple Isaiah